Easing Anxiety Around College Prep: How Understanding the Teenage Brain Can Help
Anxiety around the college prep process is at an all-time high, and it’s deeply intertwined with the teenage mental health crisis we’re experiencing in the United States. If you’ve felt that your household’s stress level seems to spike every time the word college comes up — you’re not alone.
In today’s post, I hope to offer a few practical ways to ease some of that anxiety in your family, starting as early as 9th grade.
It helps to start with what’s happening inside the teenage brain. There are two major stages of human brain development — the first between birth and age three, and the second during adolescence and early adulthood, when the frontal cortex continues to develop (typically completing around age 25).
The frontal cortex is responsible for things like:
Time management
Planning & Organizing Tasks
Decision-making
Problem-solving
Attention & Focus
The overlap between these functions and the college preparation process should not be understated. For many students, it’s not a lack of motivation or interest — it’s simply a matter of brain physiology. When their frontal cortex is challenged and they don’t have a clear path forward, students procrastinate, avoid, or resist.
Once we understand how the teenage brain is wired, it becomes easier to see why traditional college prep strategies often backfire — and what we can do instead.
1. Break Big Tasks into Micro Steps
Instead of vague directives like “Research some colleges,” try breaking down tasks into small, concrete steps.
For example:
“Can you get out a notebook, open the homepage for Clemson University, and write down what you notice about that college? Next, can you do the same for Wofford? Lastly, try University of South Carolina. How are they different? How are they similar?”
Now there are clear parameters. The student doesn’t have to struggle with “What does ‘research some colleges’ even mean?” Once they get the hang of it, they can repeat the process with 20 more colleges if they like.
Next, you might ask them to pick five colleges within driving distance that they’d like to visit this spring based on their notes. The anxiety drops because the task feels specific and doable.
2. Make College Conversations Part of Family Culture
When you talk about college early and often, it becomes a natural part of your family’s rhythm — not a sudden, high-stakes event.
Instead of panicking about cost after an acceptance arrives, start conversations about scholarships in 9th or 10th grade. Encourage your student to join a reputable scholarship database like Going Merry or College Board’s Opportunity Scholarships.
Have them fill out their profiles with classes, grades, test scores, GPAs, and activities. They can use these same profiles throughout high school and college. Encourage them to apply for one scholarship every other month — not because they have to win, but because it gives them low-pressure practice filling out forms, writing short essays, and meeting deadlines.
Starting small counts.
3. Encourage Purposeful Extracurriculars
It’s perfectly fine for students to join extracurriculars because they’re easy or their friends are doing them. I’ve seen how challenging it can be just to find one activity that gets a student out in the world, connecting with peers and exploring interests.
But as students progress through high school, it’s helpful for them to take a step back and reflect on what truly excites them. It’s far more rewarding to serve a community they care about in a way that highlights their strengths.
Instead of taking on a varsity sport every semester plus summer training, have your student consider how they could blend their interests with service or leadership.
Do they love animals, kids, or the elderly? Could they connect their love of sports to those interests? Maybe their cross-country team organizes “Jogs with Dogs” for the local animal shelter, or their basketball team raises funds for a community center’s summer camp. The local VA might love a “chair volleyball” night for inpatients.
These experiences not only ease stress and build confidence — they also expose students to potential career paths and community connections.
Creating Calm and Confidence
When we understand that teens’ stress around college prep is often rooted in brain development — not laziness or defiance — we can meet them with patience and strategy instead of pressure.
By breaking tasks into smaller steps, talking about college early and openly, and helping teens connect their interests to meaningful activities, we lower the temperature for everyone involved.
The college process doesn’t have to feel like a constant source of tension; it can become a space for growth, connection, and confidence — for both you and your student.
To help families plan college prep in a structured and stress-free way, I’ve created a comprehensive SAT & ACT Timeline that walks students and parents through what to do and when to do it
You can download your free guide here: SAT & ACT Timeline.
For personalized guidance tailored to your student’s strengths, interests, and mental health needs, learn more about how I support families at Red Rover College Prep.
